Wednesday, 15 February 2012

Bad Week

How are you?  We're plodding along here - it's half-term so Freya has not had nursery this week. Thank heavens for the local Children's Centre though as the regular play sessions have still been running so we have been getting out of the house to let off some steam!

Personally I have been having quite a bad week. Not for any particular reason, I just haven't felt myself. I've been trying to keep up with my routines & have been successful for the most part but I haven't really worked on my zones this week & I have been beating myself up about it.  I shouldn't really be so hard on myself as it's not the end of the world but it's a habit I can't break easily.

I have suffered from depression on & off ever since I was about 15 so go through these phases where I'm a bit fed up. Now I have children though so I don't let myself get as low as I could do as I don't want that for them & I certainly don't want it for me either!

My bad phase has really not been helped by Hubby's situation as he seems to be on a real downer at the moment so I feel like I'm having to compensate for him to a certain extent for the sake of the girls. That in turn makes me feel like I'm under extra pressure & the cycle continues.

When I'm in this horrible cycle I start to put on a little "pity party" & think about how I haven't really got any friends, how my family are a long way from us, we don't have much money blah, blah, blah. I then try to balance my thoughts with things like "we've got each other & our gorgeous, happy, healthy girls", "we've got a roof over our heads", "we've got enough money to pay our bills & to feed the family" etc.  At the end of the day these are the most important things in life & I am very grateful for what we have got.  In fact, we are in a much better position than we were this time last year & for that I am also grateful.

Forgive my ramblings, I am not always able to share these thoughts at home and this is the only other place that I can release some of these "stresses".



  1. Laura, just read your posting and being now 57 and having gone through one hell of a lot and I mean a lot. I have now come out of the other end, I won't go into details etc. But have come to realize that things do get better over time and that no-matter what place ones in for whatever a time, and everything seems somehow does send the occassional silver lining...hope you find your silverlining soon.

  2. Hello. Sorry to hear you're having a rough patch. I think we're all allowed a pity party every so often so don't beat yourself up too badly about it.

    Hope things start to look brighter soon.