Friday, 23 March 2012

Making & Growing

This morning we've been making cupcakes & admiring the growth on Freya's sunflower & grasshead.

We've bought some flowers to go in the garden so will hopefully be planting those this weekend - I'll take more photos to show you next week.

I hope you have a lovely weekend.


Wednesday, 21 March 2012

Playdoh Fun

Freya's at nursery this morning so at the moment Abby & I are having fun with playdoh!


Monday, 19 March 2012

Happy Monday

I hope you had a lovely weekend & that all of the Mum's were suitably spoiled yesterday.

We had my in-laws over yesterday afternoon for dinner & it was really nice.

As part of my Mother's Day present (the other part being Twilight Breaking Dawn part 1 DVD) Hubby bought me a beautiful Spring basket of flowers.  They're currently on the windowsill in our lounge as I love being able to look at them during the day but, as I discovered when I watered it, it's not really meant for inside as the drainage holes in the bottom of the basket led to a very flooded windowsill!!!!

Freya's sunflower is also doing well, as is her "grass head". It's brilliant being able to show her every day how much her things have grown. She's really excited by it. She's planted some tomato plants with her Nanny in her greenhouse, so next time we go over there we'll be able to see some progress as well.

I'd better get on with my Weekly Home Blessing before getting to playgroup for 9.30am. Today the children are going to be planting the potatoes that have been left for chitting over the past 2 weeks - lots of muddy fun, I'm sure!

The sun is out here at the moment, although I haven't seen the forecast so don't know whether it's supposed to last. Fingers crossed!


Friday, 16 March 2012

What a Difference a Week Makes....

After the horrendous week I had last week, I really can't believe I'm feeling so good at the moment. I sat down with Hubby & talked a lot of things through, I have also gone back on my tablets with advice from my GP. I am feeling so much better in myself & have had more motivation to do bits & pieces.

Freya came home from nursery yesterday with a lovely, glittery Mother's Day card - my first one made by her!

We also came home from playgroup last week with a planted sunflower seed. We've been looking after it, checking it daily & I'm relieved to see that it has sprouted!  It's taken 10 days to get this far - I did worry when I discovered that all of the other children's seeds had 1-2 inch shoots after only a week!

I've been working hard trying to get squares crocheted for a baby blanket. Hubby's friend & his girlfriend are having their first baby, which is due at the end of this month. I only decided about 3 weeks ago that I wanted to make them something! As they don't know what they're having I've chosen cream as the main colour with yellow, green, pink & blue in the middles - I've done more yellow & green to make it more "neutral" but will do a border in either pink or blue when they've had the baby, depending on what they have obviously!! So at the moment I've got little piles of crocheted squares cluttering up my bookshelf! I've done 80 squares - just 20 left that need the cream round & then I can block them & sew them together.

The day here in South Yorkshire looks like it may be quite nice, it's very sunny & I have the lounge window open to get some fresh air & blow the cobwebs away! It makes a change from the thick fog that lasted all day yesterday.

I hope that the weekend brings some sunshine wherever you are.


Friday, 9 March 2012

The Other Side of the Story

Tomorrow's another day.....never has a saying been so true. After my meltdown of yesterday I thought I had better come back to bring a bit of balance as far as Hubby is concerned.

Whilst his daily routine was pretty much spot-on, I would like to point out that that does not happen EVERY day. He has been off for 2 years with depression & I know that it is not good for him to sit around doing nothing so I do get him out of the house, whether it be for a wander round the shops or just to pick Freya up from nursery.

He's been having A LOT of bad days recently where he considers the advantages of not being around to be a burden on us all. Despite this being difficult to listen to and cope with myself I could not do half as much as I do without him. Even if it's just watching the girls while I cook dinner, that is a massive help to me. Without him being around during the day I would be spending my evenings playing catch-up with everything around the house & would be quite exhausted & drained as a result.

Plus, I am guilty of being a "typical woman" at times & don't actually ask for help! After nearly 12 years together I take for granted that he would just know what needs to be done around the house but evidently that is not the case & he needs to be told what to do (his words). I can hardly be too angry at him when I don't ask him to do things to help me.

Today I am feeling a bit more positive. A long way from being myself but at least I'm not in the deep, dark hole I was yesterday.


Thursday, 8 March 2012

Admitting Defeat

I weaned myself off my anti-depressants a couple of months ago (with help & advice from my GP). I had been feeling really positive, like I could take most things on, so I felt that it was the right time.

I am now having to admit defeat. I have been snappy & impatient with my girls at times, have lost motivation & am feeling generally rubbish & down in the dumps.

It seems I have also become very "aggressive" towards Hubby - not physically aggressive but very argumentative.  I have been very confrontational about the lack of help I get around the house & with the girls - how dare I go up & have a bath & colour my hair before the girls are asleep when Hubby had been asleep on the sofa all the way through tidying & cleaning up after dinner & also putting the girls up to bed only to be rudely woken up by Abby crying & both girls then playing up a little bit (while I'm in the bath with colour on my hair!).  Apparently that was the final straw when Hubby declared last night that I should go back on my tablets or **** off because he can't cope with me as well right now.

I am aware that I have been a bit more snappy lately but, to be honest, I had been viewing it as more of a reasonable reaction to Hubby's daily routine of getting up at 10.30-11am (sometimes later), plonking himself on the sofa with tv on or his PS3 game & staying there pretty much until bedtime (unless I drag him out to the shops or something). This routine in comparison to me ferrying Freya to nursery, taking them both to playgroups, doing the housework, cooking, washing, ironing & trying to occupy the girls when Daddy "can't help them at the moment as he's stuck on this part of his game" & then listening to Hubby complaining about how fed up he is & how he hates his life.  It seems my reaction is not reasonable.

I therefore have an appointment with the doctor this evening where I will be asking to go back on my medication.


Ps. This is my only outlet at the moment and so I am letting off a fair bit of steam. Apologies.  Please also bear in mind that there are 2 sides to every story, so while my views & opinions stand at the moment they may not be entirely fair.